[An AI rendering of a grandparent with his grandkids. Photo Credit: Pixabay]

In a book published at the end of June, author Kenneth Barish, Ph.D., Clinical Professor of Psychology at Weill Cornell Medicine, wrote that as youth mental health issues continue to rise, grandparents are more crucial than ever. 

Dr. Barish makes the case that grandparents can significantly assist families in overcoming today's parenting obstacles in his new book, The Art and Science of Parenting and Grandparenting, drawing on his 40 years of clinical experience as well as research from neuroscience, child development studies, and educational initiatives. 

The loss of extended family connection has contributed to what has been described as a persistent crisis in child and adolescent mental health, with over 40% of American teenagers expressing persistent feelings of despair or hopelessness. 

Dr.Barish asserts that grandparents can play a crucial role in reversing a cultural trend that prioritizes individual success over community and connection.

Over several decades, America has progressively become a society of ”I” rather than “We,” as children's ideals of kindness and compassion have been undermined in many homes and communities by an obsession with personal success.

Research has connected excessive achievement pressure to elevated rates of anxiety, depression, and substance addiction, especially in affluent communities. 

Dr. Barish claims that children need a greater sense of purpose that goes beyond individual achievements as individual success on its own is a brittle source of drive and effort that comes at a great cost in terms of stress and anxiety. 

Children's emotional life becomes more balanced when they assist others, and helping others and has been linked to higher self-esteem, decreased rates of depression, fewer school dropouts, enhanced immunological function, and even longer life expectancy.

Dr. Barish suggests discussing kindness, empathy, and understanding other people's needs and feelings on a daily basis, starting at a young age, and volunteering as a family to promote these advantages.

A child's sense of purpose and meaning is strengthened by these discussions and they are perhaps more crucial than ensuring children have completed their schoolwork and correcting their errors.

Dr. Barish encourages grandparents to provide parents with more than just useful assistance. 

He also refers to what he calls "molecules of emotional health," which are brief but significant instances of support, care, and comprehension that bolster kids' emotional defenses. 

The best defense against the emotional infections a child will encounter throughout their childhood is the self-assured belief that someone will listen and comprehend. 

Above all, children need someone who will listen to them, make them feel less alone, and teach them that relationships can be mended, problems can be solved, and negative emotions do not last forever.

Additionally, he emphasizes the value of play, having fun with others, and genuinely being excited about the interests and aspirations of children. 

These positive exchanges can strengthen family ties and foster emotional resilience. 

He has discovered in his therapy work that well-meaning family members often fail to recognize the detrimental consequences of constant criticism.

In his work with families, the most frequent issue he observes is not too much praise but rather too much criticism.

Children are not inspired to work harder by criticism and frequent criticism, on the other hand, weakens children's initiative and effort and fosters anger and resistance.

However, he points out that not every praise has the same positive effects and advises adults to emphasize effort and education over natural talent.